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Q. What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
A. Stick with me and we'll go places!
Q. What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
A. Hog and kisses!
Q. Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
A. Sure, they're very scent-imental!
Q. What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
A. "I'm sweet on you!"
Q. What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
A. "I find you very attractive."
Q. What did one pickle say to the other?
A. "You mean a great dill to me."
Q. What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
A. "I love you a ton!"
Q. What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
A. "You're fun to hang around with."
Q. Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?
A. He fell in love with a pin cushion!
Q. What did the pencil say to the paper?
A. "I dot my i's on you!"
Q. What did one light bulb say to the other?
A. "I love you a whole watt!"
Q. What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
A. Ughs and kisses!
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! [I love you]
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like a great big kiss?
Valentine's Day Humor
For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is
unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
~Bill Cosby
About one quarter of Valentine's Day cards have humorous messages.
