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An Owed To The Spelling Checker
(Corrections were supplied by the poem's author, Jerrold Zar, May 22, 2000) (Author and publisher information are provided at the end of this page)
CANDIDATE FOR A PULLET SURPRISE
I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.
Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.
A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when eye rime.
Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.
Bee fore a veiling checker's
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we're lacks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine.
Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know fault's with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.
Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped word's fare as hear.
To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should bee proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaw's are knot aloud.
Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too pleas.
Jerrold H. Zar
The Graduate School
Northern Illinois University
DeKalb, IL 60115-2864
jhzar@niu.edu
Title suggested by Pamela Brown.
Based on opening lines suggested by Mark Eckman.
By the author's count, 127 of the 225 words of the poem are incorrect
(although all words are correctly spelled).
Published January/February 1994, on page 13, in
Journal of Irreproducible Results
c/o Wisdom Simulators, Inc.
P.O. Box 380853
Cambridge, MA 02238
current address of publisher:
George H. Scherr
350 E. Sauk Trail
S. Chicago Heights, IL 60411
"A voice is a human gift; it should be cherished and used, to utter fully human speech as possible. Powerlessness and silence go together."
Margaret Atwood
Do the Japanese like pizza?
Their version of it - Okonomiyaki is considered to be Japan's answer to pizza. It consists of a potpourri of grilled vegetables, noodles, and meat or seafood, between two pancake-like layers of fried batter.
