A Tribute To:
George Carlin
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"I thought it would be nice to get a job at a duty-free shop, but it doesn't sound like there's a while lot to do in a place like that."
--George Carlin
George Carlin received two Grammys: for his albums "FM & AM" (1972) and "Jammin' in New York" (1993).
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George Dennis Carlin
05-12-1937
06-22-2008
Joined the Air Force in 1954. By 1956, he had received three court martials before being discharged in 1957.
While still in the Air Force, he began his show business career when he landed an off-base job as a radio disc jockey at KJOE in Shreveport, LA.
In 1960, he made his TV debut as one-half of the comedy duo (Jack) Burns & Carlin on The Tonight Show.
In July 1965, he made his first appearance on The Merv Griffin Show. Ultimately, he came on the program 29 times.
Made his TV-acting debut on a 1966 episode of That Girl in which he played star Marlo Thomas' agent. Two years later, he made his big-screen debut in With Six You Get Eggroll.
Was fired from Las Vegas' Frontier Hotel in 1969 for using foul language on stage and was arrested in Milwaukee in 1972 for violating obscenity laws.
Hosted the first episode of NBC's Saturday Night Live on October 11, 1975. Five years later, he was the inaugural host of Fridays, a similar sketch-comedy show on ABC.
Was No. 2 (behind Richard Pryor) on the list of Comedy Central's 100 Greatest Stand-Ups of All Time.
Received a Hollywood Walk of Fame star in January of 1987. It's located at the corner of Vine and Selma Streets, between Sunset and Hollywood Boulevards. Milton Berle presided over the ceremony.
Was awarded the 2008 Mark Twain Prize for American Humor by the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts.
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The first time I saw George on the Flip Wilson Show, I was hooked. I've been a fan ever since.
George Carlin quotes
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a
plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
6. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
7. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
8. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and
there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
10. Is there another word for synonym?
11. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
12. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
13. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
14. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
15. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
16. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
17. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
18. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
19. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
20. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
21. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
22. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste
funny?
23. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
24. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other
people.
25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
27. If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
30. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
31. Where are we going and what's with this hand basket?
32. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he
become disoriented?
